James E. Faust, Pauline, and Juliet

In James E. Faust's final general conference talk (April, 2007), he described in some detail the recent situation among the Amish where a non-Amish milkman went crazy and murdered five of their girls and wounded five others before taking his own life. The Amish community responded with instant forgiveness even sharing the money they received as contributions with the family of the milkman declaring that they were as much victims as the Amish were.

President Faust also mentioned the bishop who lost his wife and two of his children to the actions of a drunk driver on Christmas Eve, 2006. This bishop frankly and immediately forgave the young man who was responsible.

President Faust also mentioned a few other similar incidents, concluding that forgiveness is empowering and leads to health, whereas hate is debilitating and leads to illness.

When I was 15, an event occurred which, over the next few decades, taught me some unsettling things about myself. At that time, two 15 year old girls by the name of Pauline Parker and Juliet Hulme in Christchurch, New Zealand, murdered one Nora Parker who happened to be the mother of Pauline thereby creating an international scandal.

I hated those two girls. I hated them for three reasons:

1. I couldn't imagine a more horrible crime than murdering your own mother or helping someone else do that.

2. They were my age. In fact they were respectively three months and two months older than I, which was even worse.

3. They were girls! Girls are better than boys. That was my perception as a 15 year old and it's pretty much my perception as a 69 year old. Girls have higher standards than boys. They are held to higher standards by society. They hold themselves to higher standards.

For two girls, my age, to have committed such a horrible crime...! Well, it was obvious that they were the most evil people in the history of the world and would reign with Satan in eternity, Pauline on Satan's right hand and Juliet on his left. I was appalled that New Zealand didn't provide for capital punishment for teenagers. I didn't realize at the time that no civilized country allowed for capital punishment for teenagers, but I felt that I would be perfectly willing to be their executioner myself and I made sure everyone knew that, and I even fantasized how I would do it. It was a good thing that New Zealand was far away from Utah.

I thought about this some five decades later as I stood across the desk from Juliet Hulme to solicit her autograph on a book that she had written. I had missed the book signing the previous day at Deseret Book and so I was attending the one at a Barns and Noble in Salt Lake City. I was acutely aware that here was one of the girls I had once fantasized killing.

Of course, by that time I knew a little about her history. She was sentenced to five years in an adult prison, the maximum sentence that could be imposed on a teenager in New Zealand. When she was released, she assumed a new identity and disappeared from public awareness. Pauline served her five years, was then on probation for another five years, then she, too, disappeared from public awareness. In 1992, a movie about this event was released entitled Heavenly Creatures. The part of Juliet Hulme was played by Kate Winslet. This role jump-started Winslet's career. I don't remember off-hand the actress who played the Pauline part. As a result of this movie, some investigative reporters set out to find out what happened to these two girls. Juliet was located and was immediately outed as the well-established novelist Anne Perry – and as a Mormon. Pauline was also located, but her situation was more tragic and even these conscience-challenged reporters decided not to out her. That was left for later, even more conscience-challenged reporters.

The outing of Juliet Hulme immediately induced the Church to publish an article in The Church News which stated, in effect, that the church knew all about Anne Perry, AKA Juliet Hulme. When she was converted in her late 20's, the First Presidency carefully reviewed her case and approved her for baptism and for being washed clean of all her sins! Since then she has served the church well in a number of ways including use of her writing skills. She has written material for various official and semi-official church publications both under her own name (Anne Perry, to which she legally had her name changed) as well, especially earlier, as a ghost writer for various GA's. She was also the primary contributor to the well-received History of the Mormon Church in the British Isles.

And this was one of the girls whom I had hated so much that I had fantasized killing.

We never know all the circumstances surrounding any action. That's one of the lessons from this event. When Juliet Hulme was outed, news media of the entire world wanted to interview her -- so many that she was totally overwhelmed and quickly lost count. The interview I heard was on NPR's Fresh Aire of which Juliet/Anne told me she had no recollection. In this interview, Terry Gross asked her the question that all of them asked: “Why did you do it?” Her response was that she was faced with a horrible choice. It was either the life of her friend or the life of her friend's mother. If Nora continued to live, Pauline would die. She chose the life of her friend.

(Pauline was anorexic. Juliet was keeping her alive. Nora was not understanding of that situation and was intent on taking Pauline away from New Zealand. That would result in Pauline's death. It was as simple as that. That was the perception of both girls.)

Of course, that turned out to be very bad judgement on the part of adolescent girls. Fifteen year olds – even fifteen year old girls – are not known for clear, mature thinking. Perhaps that's not an excuse or a justification. It's just a reason. But I see the possibility that God would understand this reason. Certainly the First Presidency seemed to see it that way.

This whole multi-decade incident has given me insight into my propensities and basic nature. I wonder how much of it has "taken." When I hear of some of the horrific acts perpetrated by some people in this world, I find that the hate, anger, and fantasies that well up inside of me are not qualitatively different from those of my 15-year old self. And yet how many of the "reasons" might the Lord be inclined to forgive? Many of the people who are doing really horrible things have the best of motives. They believe that they are doing the will of God. They are even willing to sacrifice their own lives if necessary. These aren't just words, they're actions. We believe, perhaps we even know by the Spirit, that they are most horribly mistaken.

Saul of Tarsus would have been termed a "terrorist" if that word had been in vogue among the early saints. He was horribly mistaken. The scriptures so testify. He went through hell to attain his eventual status of Paul, the great apostle of the Lord.

So do we know for sure how the Lord will judge the current terrorists? They are under the influence of him who has promised to reign upon this earth with carnage and terror and who seems to be quite successful. But whose fault is that? Theirs? Unconditionally? Are we sure? Was it Paul's? Certainly they will have to go through significant "hell" just as Paul did, but thereafter, who will be standing closer to salvation after the judgement, Bin Laden or myself? The fact that the answer is not completely obvious is troubling.

And that brings us back to Pres. Faust's talk. Even the most obvious open-and-shut cases can have exonerating circumstances. That being so in Pauline and Juliet's case, how much more might it be so in most family or neighborhood squabbles where the consequences are far less dramatic. President Faust points out that God will forgive whom He will forgive, but as for us, we are required to forgive all men. (D&C 64:10)