Stunning

Elder Maxwell gave two BYU devotionals (that I'm aware of). One was in 1990. The other was in 2004. He looked quite different in the two. Understandably. The one in 2004 was given 4 months before he died of leukemia.

The themes of these two devotionals were quite different, but a significant point he made in both involved the nature of God. Put his intellect together with Elder Scott's particle-physics background and you get an insight into the nature of God that is shocking. It is similar to the insight to which I have belatedly become aware and which I have mentioned in the last few blogs.

Elder Maxwell calls this insight "stunning."

I called it terrifying.

That this insight keeps coming up in scripture, in prophetic writings, and in journals is attested to by common scriptural description of the discomfort and even terror of the wicked as they are brought before God. They will want mountains to fall upon them to hide them from His glory. And the oft-quoted statements from early 19th century brethren that if an angel were to appear in their room, they would be out the window in an instant even if it meant leaping to their deaths.

These brethren had a very clear view of the nature of God and His glorified servants.

As mentioned in recent blogs, this insight has bothered me. It makes me nervous. It scares me. I've never been scared of Heavenly Father before. To whom am I praying? To whom have I prayed for 70 years? How dare I?

With relief, I grasped at the image of Christ. He's definitely loving, gentle, accessible. He reaches out a comforting arm and puts it around my shoulders. He encourages me. He draws me into his presence in intense love. All of this is enabled by the atonement -- by the way he sacrificed his own life to save me.

Amazing grace.

And he is just like God, the Father. God, the Father -- stunning, terrifying -- is just like him.

It is comfort.

If I could believe it.

God is infinity. Infinity of power. Infinity of energy. Infinity of complexity. Infinity of perception. Infinity of knowledge.

All in a man-sized being. Composed of tightly encapsulated infinitesimals of energy -- an infinite number of infinitesimals -- each comprising the mass and energy of an entire universe.

Infinite universes in a finite man-sized being.

A mathematical concept.

It is only mathematically that we are able to characterize this. Intellectually, it is beyond us. As is the case in so many areas of nature. Einstein looked at his math and his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. Incomprehensible. Among the first incomprehensibles of the 20th and 21st century.

And there it hit me. A solution to my discomfort, my terror, my inability to believe that such a God is approachable -- that He is truly like Christ, His son.

Mathematically.

God has be be absolutely humble and meek. He has to be. Mathematically. Because if He has the slightest, tiniest, non-zero portion of vindictiveness -- or whatever else the opposite of humble and meek may be -- multiplying this by infinity creates a catastrophe. A demon. A devil.

The only thing you can multiply infinity by -- without creating a catastrophe -- is zero. A singularity.

Ergo God is absolutely humble and absolutely meek. His declaration that "I am a jealous God," the description of us being subject to the "judgements of God," His raining down fire upon Sodom and Gomorrah, the destruction on this continent that accompanied the Crucifixion of His son -- all those things are for our instruction and tutoring, and a reflection of His mercy. He will bring to end the doings of the wicked so that they will require no further reconciliation. He will bless us as greatly as it is possible for us to be blessed and He will punish us a little as it is possible for us to be punished.

And we are to become like Him -- and through the atonement, we shall become like Him -- equally humble and meek.